I'm Ok

It has been almost 6 months and still I can't bring myself to say 'I'm good' whenever someone asks 'How are you?'.

'I'm ok' would be my reply.

'Ok' because it sits somewhere between 'bad' and 'good'. Putting it into context, I, for the past 6 months, have been preoccupying myself with very depressing and (some) lighthearted events. Ever since the start of the year, I find myself dwelling in some kind of compelling unhappiness; I've done things I never thought I would do, like waking up early and taking a stroll at the park (healthy, but when someone like me does this, it's an aberration) and coming back at night and lying on my bed, motionless for hours only to wake up after to wash up and sleep properly. I feel like my soul has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.

Then there are the fun times, the laughter, the silver linings, all of which wouldn't have been possible without my quirky, yet awesome bunch of friends. They put me on the 'good' side of the 'I'm Ok' spectrum. They remind me, sometimes even just for a minute, that I'm capable of picking myself up and indulging in simple pleasures like dissolving into uncontrollable laughter and making myself feel whole again. I'm thankful for their constant presence, as well as their undivided attention when I needed it most.

Throughout the past 6 months, I've come to know the people whom I'd never trade the world for. And I promise to reciprocate when it's time for me to do so.

Time heals all wounds, and friends are there to make the process less painful.

Brave frontier!

I believe this is going to be one of those entries that will make me laugh when I look back at it few years later.

It's about my current addiction - the mobile game Brave frontier!

Ever since Army, I never expect myself to indulge in games, mainly because the thought of siting in front of my laptop for hours and clicking away furiously has become unappealing; what was once a past time has become a waste of time!

I couldn't imagine myself getting hooked on to gaming again, much less a mobile game. But thanks to Yong Han, I'm now reminded of my secondary school 'counterstrike days', where the virtual experience takes up the many hours of my day. But this time round, it's not so much of wanting to rush home and start playing because my phone is always by my side.

That means I'm almost on it every minute...

Guys being guys, we just can't contain the excitement when we discover a new (gaming) addiction. So I told my friends about it and urged them to join in the fun. The next thing I know, all of them 'befriended' me in the game, our WhatsApp group name becomes 'Brave Frontier SIAO!', and our conversations, both online and off, revolve mainly around the game. It's crazy!

But I'm not quite like my younger self, which is a huge relief. Even though sometimes emotions would get the better of me (when I lose a battle or when the game crashes!), I'm still sane enough to know that the things around me matter more than what's going on behind that screen. Scoring high points in the game would not pay for my meals, neither would it be something that I'm proud of. This is the difference between my 16 year old self and now.

I'm not intending to stop playing just yet and I hope my friends wouldn't either because I'll miss those serious 'strategy discussions', as well as the crappy jokes.

Yes, we are 26 this year but we are still young at heart!